Articles Posted in Mediation

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Divorce mediation in New York is a voluntary settlement process used by spouses who wish to divorce. The process is facilitated by a mediator who works with both spouses to negotiate a settlement that both parties can live with and that is in the best interests of the family. The mediator typically tries to conduct the sessions in an atmosphere of respect and cooperation. For many couples, especially those with children, mediation is a better option than litigation because it is less expensive and involves negotiation to find a good solution for everyone.

However, it is recommended for each spouse to have a review attorney to discuss their legal rights, if not before, then after a settlement agreement is drafted with the terms agreed upon in the mediation. The mediator might give options about different ways that the issues are handled in court cases, but does not serve as legal counselor to either of them.  Whether or not individuals heed the advisement to seek the counsel of a review attorney, in most instances, people will be bound by what they agree upon by a properly drafted agreement through a divorce mediation. Continue reading ›

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No matter the circumstances, a divorce is rarely pleasant or easy, but it can be resolution and a new beginning. In any situation, there are various factors that both parties will need to carefully consider – such as how to split or share assets, who should be responsible for what, arrangements connected to child custody and parenting time or visitation, alimony aka maintenance, and so on. Commonly, divorcing spouses find that they agree on very little, and neither are immediately willing to compromise. When dealing with a high net worth divorce, the issues can become somewhat more intense, as unique nuances present themselves that are likely to occur less frequently in other cases. For instance, the stakes are higher as each side has more resources at stake, including a combination of business interests, assets, tax implications and more. Because of this, certain steps that wouldn’t be considered at other times come into play more frequently and in greater number.

In any divorce, both parties are likely to feel a wide range of emotions, from disappointment and aggravation, to anger and betrayal. Because of this, divorce rarely seems like the best time to make decisions regarding long-term finances, but it is crucial to consider the effect a divorce is going to have on someone’s life moving forward. In a high net worth case it is particularly important not to rush, just to get the divorce done. While a quick resolution may be desired, things need to be carefully considered. It’s worth noting that many of the considerations that must be addressed in high net worth divorce cases are topics that may be relevant in typical divorces. However, since the resources are greater, the incidence of issues within high net worth cases may be more frequent and the consequences greater. Continue reading ›

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 Mediation is one of the most popular legal solutions available when it comes to negotiating the terms of a divorce. As I have stated in various blog posts before, I myself am a huge advocate of divorce mediation (and collaborative law) when it comes to settling disputes between couples that are willing to take an alternate route. For the process of divorce mediation to work as it should – both of the parties involved in the case must have some willingness and exert at least a little effort. Mediation is a voluntary process, and neither party can be forced into it – making it a highly different approach to litigation or the adversarial divorce case.  Most likely, the couple pictured above, however, would benefit by utilizing some of the tips contained within this blog.  Please consider the picture then, advice on what not to do.

In the traditional court centered divorces, a divorce proceeding can be started within the court without the consent of the other party, as one side and their lawyer will draft the initial pleadings, file them, and serve them to the other side. In New York, the other spouse involved will then have twenty days to “appear” within the case, which then makes both sides participants in the adversarial divorce. If your goal is to settle your divorce case “amicably”, then mediation is potentially the best route to pursue. In divorce mediation, yourself and your spouse – or in certain cases, the two of you and respective lawyers, utilize a mediator that will help you to resolve and discuss the issues in your divorce. Though the mediator will not make your decisions for you, they will serve as a facilitator to help you determine what is best with your spouse. Continue reading ›

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It is possible, under different scenarios, to discontinue a divorce, before it is finalized by the signing of the judgment. But how can it be done? The answer is found in the New York Civil Practice Law and Rules 3217 and corresponding case law that interprets it. What the law says is that for civil actions, in general (including divorces), an order is not required if no responsive pleading is served. But if no responsive pleading is required then it can be discontinued twenty days after the service of the original pleading. Otherwise a stipulation between the parties of discontinuance would need to be made or a court order for the same made.

So, what does this mean and how does this apply to divorces in New York? Divorces can be initiated by the filing of a document called a Summons with Notice (a complaint can be served with it in the beginning but often is not). Eventually a complaint needs to be drafted and served; however, sometimes this does not happen in a divorce for some time or even not until just prior to the submission of the judgment. If a complaint is not yet drafted and served, then the law seems clear that the initiating party can usually withdraw by their own accord. Less frequently, however courts have found, that the person waived the right to withdraw after lengthy proceedings and it would be inequitable, like in the case of Minkow v Metelka, (46 AD3d 864 [2d Dept. 2007]) where there were substantial court proceedings and the parties included a waiver of the right to discontinue at the Preliminary Conference despite not serving a complaint. If a complaint is served, and the defendant serves an answer, then the divorce can be withdrawn only by a stipulation signed by both parties or an order of the court. Continue reading ›

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Issues of conflict commonly arise when parties within a case find themselves intolerant of each other’s requests or opinions. When goals change, cracks can begin to form in relationships of any kind – from marriages, to parents and their children, colleagues in the workplace and more. When people think and act agreeably, there is an alignment that ensures dispute and conflict can often be avoided – however this is rarely the case in legal matters, particularly in regards to family law.

Unfortunately, the more conflict is allowed to grow, the more likely it is that such conflict will begin to cause serious problems – which can be a barrier to resolving a case and reaching an amicable settlement. The task of professional mediators, collaborative lawyers and negotiators is to utilize the right techniques in de-escalating conflict and resolving matrimonial and family law cases. Although this blog is mostly written with divorce mediation in mind, such techniques can also be useful in collaborative cases, and to a certain extent may have some impact on classic settlement negotiation or litigation. However, the adversarial model used within the court system often tends to escalate, rather than reduce conflict – leaving less room for resolution by agreement. Continue reading ›

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Preparing for Divorce Mediation

Hopefully your mediation won’t look like this picture (at least because the mediator should be in the picture too), but following these suggestions might help for a smooth process.  For some people, mediation will be the preferred legal process that they can take to access the results that they want, while maintaining an agreeable relationship with other parties involved. Mediation can be a possible way to ensure that your relationship ends in a healthy way, promoting an easier future for yourself, and any children involved. However, even if you have decided that professional mediation is the ideal option for you, this doesn’t mean that you won’t be nervous about your first session. The chances are you’ll find yourself wondering what you should expect, how you should prepare, and what might be expected from you.

The first thing to recognize is that the mediation process is intended to help people manage or resolve disputes by reaching mutual agreements about a situation. In order to reach an agreement with the other party involved, you will need him/her to cooperate with you on the pursuit of conclusions that are beneficial to both of you. Mediation is not a debating practice that requires individuals to prove that their stance is the right one. You don’t need to convince the other party to think differently or ignore what he or she thinks is important. The mediation process is not intended to assign blame, find fault or punish any party, and it must be done on a voluntary basis, otherwise it is less likely to end in a successful outcome. Continue reading ›

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Approaching and Understanding the Emotional Aspects of Divorce

In the materials from my mediation training at the Center for Mediation and Training (which this blog article summarizes and is based upon), and as my years of practice as a matrimonial attorney and mediator confirmed, I learned there are the following emotional parts of a divorce. Divorce can be a significant life event in any circumstance. Statistics have frequently shown that even in a divorce that appears to be relatively peaceful, the parties involved can take between three and five years to recover from the ordeal and feel comfortable in their lives again. Just like any other life crisis, divorce can be a process that stirs up unresolved issues and feelings from the past, adding them onto present emotions and creating an intense experience which can translate into outward behavior.

Adjusting to divorce can happen in a number of predictable stages that cannot be rushed or avoided. Similarly to any other developmental process, the successful resolution of each stage will depend fundamentally on the resolution of the preceding one. An important thing to keep in mind when you are dealing with the impact that a divorce has had on you, is that your whole family system will be affected. What’s more, the process of adjusting to a divorce can differ depending on where your current family is in its life cycle. For example, a divorce can feel a lot different to a family with adolescent children than it would to a family with very young children. Continue reading ›

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Comparing Divorce Litigation, Collaborative Law, Mediation and Negotiated Settlements

In the process of a divorce or case involving family law, you will often find that there are many different routes available to you. As a trained mediator, litigator, collaborative law attorney and legal professional, I have had experience with all of these varying paths, and have noted that what may be the ideal course of action for one couple or individual, may not be the right direction for another. Neither mediation, nor collaboration, litigation nor negotiation will be the worst, or best choice in all cases. The choice of which approach to use will depend on a deep consideration of your personal circumstances, your individual preferences, and your legal needs.

Litigation

The first, and perhaps most well-known option for divorces to consider, is that of litigation. Litigation is the term that is used to describe the proceedings that may be initiated by two opposing parties in an effort to defend or enforce a given legal right. Cases can settle at any time before or during a trial, but ultimately litigation will be decided by a court after the argument has been heard and decided by a judge or jury on the issue of grounds only. The process of initiating litigation proceedings is voluntary for the plaintiff, but mandatory for the defendant once selected and served, and the formality of the case typically surrounds a formal process bound by a number of crucial rules. Continue reading ›

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Decisions to be made on Child Support

Whatever the process chosen, be it mediation, litigation, collaborative law, or settlement negotiations certain decisions can be made regarding child support issues for the children. After a divorce, or pursuant to a child support application by the non-residential custodial parent whether married or not, child support is the money that will be paid to the custodial parent, as a method of helping them to pay for reasonable needs, such as food, clothing, shelter, education, health and maintenance. Sometimes, additional support is required to cover extra costs, such as extracurricular expenses, private school tuition, life insurance, college and more. There are numerous important decisions to make when it comes to understanding and arranging child support, and perhaps the first thing that needs to be considered, is how the amount will be determined.

Establishing Child Support Amount

There is a formula used by New York child support lawyers and judges which is set forth in what is called the Child Support Standards Act. The Child Support Standards Act may be found in both the New York Family Court Act and the New York Domestic Relations Law. This formula was designed to provide an insight into the amount a non-custodial parent should be required to pay for child support. The policy behind this statute was to provide standard amounts which people of a similar income should be expected to pay. The decisions that need to be made on child support can range from caps on the income considered, to when it will be paid, how extracurricular activities will be paid for, and how modifications will be made and cost of living adjustments will be dealt with. The first step is to consider each party’s gross income. Continue reading ›

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Decisions to be made on Equitable Distribution

The term “equitable distribution” refers to the method that is used to divide obligations, property and assets between spouses as a part of divorce proceedings. An important concept to understand is that equitable distribution doesn’t necessarily mean that things are divided “equally”, only that they are divided fairly according to the law. The doctrine of equitable distribution is utilized to consider the future financial circumstances of each spouse following the termination of the marriage. Although equitable distribution is a somewhat flexible system, it can be difficult to predict the outcome of any case, as some of the factors that the court considers are quite subjective.

The process of equitable distribution in regards to property involves three major steps:

  1. The determination of which property can be established as part of the equitable distribution
  2. The valuation of the property to be considered
  3. The actual division of the property or assets

Continue reading ›

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